Category Archives: best man
#2 Have the “Money Chat” with Whoever is Footing the Bill
DO NOT start off your marriage with a power struggle! Sure, you want your wedding day to reflect you, but keep in mind that there are many people around you who may want to be a part of this process; and if they happen to be paying for some part of it, that’s probably only fair! After all, it makes sense that they’d want to have some say how their support is put to use. Your “parents” (be they grandparents, the uncle that raised you, or your soon to be in-laws), as well as chosen attendants, are a part of your life now—and hopefully will be for a long time to come! It may seem like a frightening thought, but sitting down with everyone that will be helping out financially can relieve a WHOLE lot of stress later. Really. Have a civil chat about who is paying for what so that no surprise “necessities” crop up the week before the big day.
To make having a chat with everyone about the cost of your wedding a little bit easier, I came across some great advice on the internet ( here, here, and here ), which I compiled into one easy pdf for you to peruse: Who Pays for What Print it off and check off or change things as needed! Hopefully it will help in the planning process!
If you are like me, you may look at that list and laugh at how complicated it is. You may be able to instantly cut several of these traditional costs. On the other hand, maybe you (or your parents) are very traditional and will want to do all of these things. Can you see why it is VITAL to have a conversation with all the involved parties (you, your spouse-to-be, your parents, their parents, the best man, and the maid/matron of honor) to figure out who is going to pay for what!? I know it seems like an uncomfortable subject to broach, but it can be a big step in establishing a trusting and respectful relationship with all of these people!
I actually didn’t want a reception. My parents handed me the $2,000 cash they’d intended to use toward a reception and told me to do whatever I wanted with it instead. Unfortunately, because my husband is the youngest in his large Argentine family, his parents weren’t about to let him get off the hook that easily. It was pretty easy, though, to compromise. They offered to cover the food (a huge part of any Argentine celebration), and we covered the rest. We easily cut some of those traditions that weren’t meaningful to us, including many of the “Pre-Wedding” events and even things like bridesmaids’ dresses—his cousins in Buenos Aires are always getting a chuckle out of American weddings where everyone wears the same outfit… We opted to set the bridal party off with matching corsages/boutonnieres, instead. We also cut many of the ceremony costs and reception center costs because in my native Utah, our religious facilities are free for wedding use. Knowing ahead of time who would cover what saved hours of headache for everyone involved!